Match Report
A Good Season Is Mid-Table. A Great Season Is Beating Palace. This Was Better.
· Admin
Brighton 5-0 Crystal Palace | Premier League | 18 October 2026 | Amex Stadium, 2pm
My yardstick hasn't changed in thirty years. A good season is finishing mid-table. A great season is beating Palarse. Five-nil at home on a Sunday afternoon? I'll take that as a very good year for the roses, thanks.
Twenty minutes down the road, no motorway, no service station sandwich. 31,440 in the ground, Rob Jones with the whistle, and the away end still finding their seats when it all went wrong for them.
Three Goals Before Ten Past Two
Four minutes. Anan Khalaili gave away a free-kick and Jaydee Canvot got his head to the ball and sent it into his own net.
1-0
Seven. Diego Gómez scored from the halfway line. Fifty yards, on a Sunday, against Palace. Hürzeler later called it "not simple to score", which is German for what the bloke behind me shouted, only cleaner.
2-0
Ten. Kostoulas played in Yasin Ayari, and his deflected shot left Walter Benítez helpless. Three-nil and it wasn't ten past two. People were still queuing for a pint and missed a third of the goals.
After The Break, For Politeness
Forty-nine. Ayari's shot was blocked and Kostoulas pounced on the rebound.
4-0
Eighty-four. Jack Hinshelwood, on as a sub, capped the afternoon with a fifth. Two goals in four days for a lad who hadn't kicked a ball since August a fortnight ago.
5-0
The Bit For The History Lads
That equalled Brighton's biggest-ever win against Crystal Palace, the previous one coming on 14 January 1956 in Division Three (South) at the Goldstone Ground. Seventy years. Some of us have been waiting most of that.
And remember February. Hürzeler was booed off at the Amex after a 1-0 home defeat to Palace, patience wearing thin. Sunday he said he'd keep pushing to get another opportunity to beat them, so he was happy they did it, then told everyone to leave the phone alone, enjoy a beer and enjoy wearing the Seagulls' colours. Best managerial instruction I've ever been given.
Pierre Sage, to his credit, didn't hide. He said he felt "shame" and apologised to the travelling supporters.
The Table, Briefly
Third on 16 points, a league-high 23 scored and only five conceded. Provisionally second before Arsenal kicked off. Palace 14th on seven.
Final Thought
We're a minibus and a laminated seating plan, nothing to do with the club, and days like Sunday are the entire reason any of us bother. Mid-table would have done. This was a bonus nobody saw coming.
Take care of yourselves. And each other. Especially anyone who was still at the bar on seven minutes.
Crystal Palace away, Saturday 15 May 2027. Minibus from across Sussex, £35 return. See the trip